How has it only been four days?????

Sorry this blog is a bit of a downer! I’m trying to remain grateful and positive.

So we’re four days into a fully exclusive low FODMAP diet.

The biggest struggle at the moment is hunger at 4ish in the afternoon. Lunches are the hardest meal, as I pack them because I’m at uni all day, and I just don’t seem to be able to get enough food! I have been eating more protein, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. Last week I made a giant quiche and froze portions of it (before I was “officially” on the diet!). This week I’ve been making salads and chucking in some chicken – I have a beef mince patty with a salad for tomorrow. And my low FODMAP blueberry muffins are a lifesaver for my sweet tooth!

As of yet I haven’t had any resolve from my symptoms. Still living with a pretty consistent stomach ache, which is especially prevalent in the morning. Still living with irregular bowel movements, and I think my concentration is affected slightly. On the upside, I think I’m less bloated than before, and I haven’t had any disruption to my sleep – which can happen, I’ve heard. If my symptoms are still consistent by the weekend I’m going to get in contact with my nutritionist and talk about what other foods could be a potential problem.

I am starting to doubt that there really is going to be an end to this, and that is scary and upsetting. The pain is manageable, sure, and I know there are people out there who are suffering so much worse than I am, and I feel for them. But I am tired of having chronic pain, and of not knowing what the cause is. I realised today I don’t actually remember what it means to not have a stomach-ache, so I don’t even know if I’ll recognise it should it happen. What if it isn’t actually sore right now, and I just think it is? What if none of this is actually real and I am just imagining that I have this problem? I could drive myself mad. The joys of an invisible illness.

I want to be completely honest on here, because I want to share my true experiences with my future self and with anyone else who’s battling this stupid syndrome. I’m scared. I’m in pain, and I don’t completely trust that this is going to work.

In saying that, I’m grateful for the support of my friends and family – my step dad made a special dinner just for me tonight that was very carefully low-FODMAP! And so many people constantly saying encouraging things and sharing their experiences. Hell, it’s only been four days! What am I even moaning about? She’ll be right!

I go to yoga once a week and my yoga teacher often slips this into class; it helps me get through the day.

Look forward. Breathe. 

One day at a time.

Thanks for reading 🙂

M x

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